worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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