Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
