The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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