The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
