ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
