So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
