dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
