Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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