when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
3pm strippers are depressing
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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