i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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