There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it's like iHOP with fire
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
