Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize