He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
don't judge my taste in strippers
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
