I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
