i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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