Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
