Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
