Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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