Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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