I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
