Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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