come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
