she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
