i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
