Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
