Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
