No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
