The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
is it fun? or sober?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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