How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
