Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
we're making bets on your personal life
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
