I'm lost and stupid without you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
