I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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