got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
zippers are such a cool invention
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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