he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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