Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
