Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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