haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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