Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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