Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
