I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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