$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
