Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
