Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
