the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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