i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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