i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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