he shaved USA in his pubs
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
