Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
