she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
