Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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