i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
