Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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