Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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