I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize