Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
