Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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