I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
