Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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