Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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