I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
