he was CRYING into my vagina
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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