i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
