PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
